Dialogue between Jonas and me, his quiet friend from another world.
Me : Hey Jonas! What's up? You look so different from when I talked to you a few days ago. There is something in your face, what's new.
Jonas: Really?! Mhmm... I don't know. Maybe because I threw my pill away. But maybe you just see emotions, experience and memories for the first time on my face.
Me: You did WHAT? What about your community rules? How did all this happen?
Jonas: I know it's a big change in my life and that it has an effect on my character, but it felt so nice to learn about things like family, happiness, grandparents and...love. At the first time everything was strange and foolish. But now? I just feel a little more complete ... It's hard to be different and have secrets. But in a special,unusal way it makes me proud to have an own life and my own thoughts. Nobody can control my mind, too. This gives a feeling of safety. In spite of this it's a little bit lonely if suddenly nobody can understand you because you're knowing things, they don't know. Sometimes it's hard to take the load of so many secrets. It happens with my Assignment- with my selection. It's my job to be different,now.
Me: And...do you like it?
Jonas: Yes and No. Yes because all the feelings are interesting and refreshing. And an other reason is, that I have no longer this feeling...to wear a mask or to be caged. And a little bit "No" because I felt never before so much separate... And suddenly there is the feeling to show this big world of emotions to them. It's so sad that's a secret...and to tell you the truth: I don't really understand why... I wish I could part for example this indescribable feeling of "love"...
At the first time of my life I get the thought that something goes wrong here...
Me: Well... Your thoghts seem to be dangerous. Good luck. And : Watch out! It can be very hard if you know something, which is actually important for the whole community.
Jonas: I thought about it... I will be careful. Good bye, my friend from elsewhere.
Hey,
AntwortenLöschenI like your idea of Jonas, who's telling his feelings and thoughts to a friend from elsewhere.
I think you described Jonas' feelings very good, that we all can understand, how he sees the world
Nice Work :)
Talea,
AntwortenLöschendid you change the background of your blog?
I like the one with the books in any case since it fits your blog's title and also the content of the novel - with different books, all carrying memories! Well chosen!
It's a cool idea to have Jonas telling about his world and experiences to someone from elsewhere, as Sophie already pointed out. The way Jonas describes his feelings shows that you have read the novel carefully and you succeeded in including his thoughts and feelings in this conversation!
Languagewise, some advice (sorry, prepositions are very hard to learn- I know):
- so different FROM WHEN I talkED to you a few days ago.
- FOR the first time / AT first
- What ABOUT your community rules?
- How did all this happen? (no double past tense marker!)
- aN own life
- the noun that goes with "safe" is "safety"
- think about your useage of commas (in case of doubt, leave them out!)
- It's WATCH OUT!
-thoUghts
- WHat do you mean by "I just feel a little more complete if I make my thoughts warm"? That sounds little confusing to me...
Mrs Brunstein,
AntwortenLöschenI have red your comment and advanced my post ;)